Origins of this Eagles Collection

These Eagles came and I was reminded of a book, read many years ago, by William Horwood called 'The Stonor Eagles', where an origins tale of Eagles runs parallel to the story of a child through to manhood and his relationships to himself and his family.

I had no idea at first that this would be a collection of works, yet here they came. A rising out of a sea of chaos. Then looking for another or perhaps ones inner self to rise up and be seen. Me, painting and unveiling layers of myself to find the truth of my own life. Rising in hope beyond the Earthly trials and chaos to peace. Using the ocean to portray uncontrollable chaos, shaped with deep colour and broad strokes. Eagles breaking free to soar above.

It was through the summer I started feeling a need to consider societal and environmental conditionings through the generations. A strange subject perhaps, yet pertinent to where I find myself here and now.

These Eagles were an offering of how to assimilate and grow through layers of perceived, and really felt pain from childhood experiences. Not that I 'knew' that at the time, as the subconscious mind has a wondrous skill at hiding deeply felt hurts, that if kept on the surface would be detrimental to the experiencer. Sometimes things have to happen and may only be seen and accepted in much later years with maturity and stillness. That accepting can allow an insight in that they too had difficult childhoods, that maybe perpetuates until a child feels that they will not be like their parents. That as they have children of their own things will be different. That is not to condone those actions, which harm the spirit and human.

In having undertaken some therapy over the past 5 years, there has been an unveiling of perceptions and mis-perceptions over who I thought myself to be through my upbringing. Again it was the grief over losing our son Gavin, suddenly via a medical condition that prompted a self reflection. I came to see how my environment in my family shaped a people pleaser. Always doing what I thought people wanted of me, whilst suppressing my own needs. A familiar story for many I suspect. Not feeling loved and supported. The needs of food and a roof over head, clothes to wear were catered for, but not a nurturing of the child, a nourishing of the soul. That can cause a shrinking of personality, to become over compliant to generate a false sense of safety, which was my case. The other way is that of shaping a battle mentality of 'me against the world' much like I remember my brother being.

There is much written about how a person can come to be a healer for previous generations through having insights about how those societal directions influence the future.

I can't change those circumstances of my parents or grandparents, that is past, yet I can come to an understanding of how those may have influenced their behaviours towards myself as a child. That is not to condone the choices they made, it simply allows for compassion to open up towards forgiveness.